Limoncello

The drinking done in this house isn't limited to just beer. One of the great benefits of living in California is the abundance of fresh citrus.

I may have mentioned before that my husband is a bit of a citrus connoisseur. At last count we had 11 varieties of fruit trees in the back yard. I think he's acquired one or tow more since then.

Whenever we get a big harvest of fruit, we make limoncello (or kumquatcello, or Buddhacello, or whatevercitruswehavecello).

Today, we happen to be having a cooking marathon that involves several recipes calling for several lemons. Unfortunately, we didn't time our marathon to coincide with our own fruit ripening, so we had to buy lemons. It always hurts to have to buy something we normally get for free, and when we do we make an extra effort to squeeze every drop of usefulness out of it.

So, before my husband got cooking, I zested our six large lemons for a new batch. I also have two bottles that need to be finished. The buddhacello we have has been conditioning for about 4 months, and the kumquatcello about half that long.

Our recipe is adapted from Alton Brown's.

Phase 1:
About 2 lbs of the citrus of your choice
750 ml bottle of vodka. At least 80 proof, but 100 is better. Some people use Everclear.

Phase 2:
2/3 cup sugar
2/3 cup water

1. Drink some of the vodka. Some people buy separate jars or larger bottles for their limoncello, but we like to recycle just use the original vodka bottle. Since you're going to eventually need to add a little under a cup of simple syrup to the mix, you need to make sure there's enough room in the bottle for it. The easiest way to do this is to pour yourself a drink to enjoy while you do your zesting.

2. Zest the citrus. I use a Microplane to get a really fine zest. Some people just use a peeler.

3. Add the zest to the vodka bottle. This is easier said then done, especially if you're like us and using the thin-necked bottle for your conditioning. I find it easiest to pour the vodka out of the bottle, then put the zest into a funnel and pour the vodka back over it. The zest will flow easily with the vodka back into the bottle, and voila! You're halfway there.

4. Wait. The zest has to steep for at least 1-2 weeks, though most recipes I've seen suggest much longer. A friend of mine conditions her cellos for 6-9 months. I'm not quite that patient. We just have ours sitting on the counter in the kitchen. Any cool, darkish place will do.

5. Once you've waited long enough, make a simple syrup from the sugar and water. Some people use anywhere from 1-2 cups of sugar. Make it as sweet as you want, just use a 1:1 ratio of sugar to water. Boil the mixture until the sugar dissolves completely, then allow to cool. Pour the syrup into the bottle, shake a little to mix, then store in the freezer for at least a few hours.

6. Enjoy. Cellos keep in the freezer for basically as long as it takes to drink them which won't be long, especially in the summer time. You're going to love this stuff.

This is embarrassing.

I haven't drinken? dranken? drunken? had a beer a couple weeks. I'm seriously off my game.
I keep think of things to blog about, but none of them are beer related and I'm like, my blog is called The BEER Bitch, not The RANDOM THINGS THAT I THINK ABOUT Bitch.

But whatever. I'm just going to write about the random things that I think about, and one day when I start drinking again we'll get back to beer. K?

And of course now all the wonderfully random things I've thought about in the last two-ish weeks have flown right out of my head, so this post is just getting worse and worse.

I locked myself out of my house this afternoon. You know that awful feeling when you wish you could just go back to two seconds ago before you did something really stupid? If I had the ability to time travel I wouldn't waste it on seeing the future or going back to witness history. I would save my time traveling powers for emergencies when I just need to go back two fucking seconds.

I was trying to walk the dog. To be honest, I've been kindof slacking off on walking her because now that she's growing up she's a lot less hyperactive and not walking her no longer leads to things like her chasing me around the kitchen and eating my shoelaces. But today I was going to change all that. I was going to take her on a long, glorious walk so that she could be a happy and balanced dog just like Cesar Millan wants her to be. Also I didn't want her flipping out when we got to Puppy School tonight.

Unfortunately, back when I was walking her regularly, I did a little too good of a job leash training her. Now she expects treats every 5-10 steps, and if she doesn't get them she stops dead. I guess that means I actually did a horrible job leash training her. Anyway. I made sure I had my phone and my keys when I left the house. We have one of those front doors that locks automatically when you close it, so I always double and triple check that I have my keys before I close the door.

But since Herbert wouldn't walk without treats, we had to go all the way back inside so that I could supply her with a variety of delicious bribes. I grabbed a handful of bacon bits and went back out. And realized just as the door was clicking behind me that the key's I'd been so careful to take with me were on the counter, next to the bacon bits container.

I did still have my phone with me, so I called my husband. He was stuck in meetings for 2 hours. I was so despondent that I didn't even feel like walking anymore. I took Herbert around the block, and then we went and sat in the back yard. I kept thinking of things I could do to kill time, such as:

1. Take the dog to PetsSmart. Oh, except no house keys means no car keys.
2. Walk to Starbucks. Crap, my wallet is inside.
3. Use a credit card to get the door open. No wallet, no credit cards.
4. Look in my car for some sort of credit-card-like, door opening device. Fuuuuuuck no keys. 
5. Sit on the porch and feel sorry for myself. That sounds like fun. I'll do that.

Luckily, the day was saved by my friend Julie, who happens to live around the corner. She noticed my pathetic tweet about being trapped outside, and called to invite me over. Shelter and human conversation! That's better than a normal afternoon safe inside my house.

I guess the moral of this story is all's well that ends well. Also, it's a good idea to live around the corner from a friend who's a teacher and whose students are on a field trip so she gets to come home early the day you lock yourself out. Also maybe when you're getting married, consider whether your husband's job will allow him to come bail you out of stupid situations, at least until you master time travel.

Totally off-topic

I know, I know. This is a blog about beer, and I should be writing about beer. But if I stayed on topic all the time, I'd be depriving you of pictures of my Absolutely Adorable Puppy. And we can't have that, can we?

This is Herbert. She was born on November 5, 2009.

 

Yes, I know that Herbert is a boy's name. And yes, I assure you that Herbert is a girl dog. But listen, there are people out there naming their children Kynidee and Kachina. Shouldn't we be more worried about that?

Anyway. Herbert is a blue pit bull. 

 

As you can see, she is a ferocious beast. 

Her Momma, Tilly,

  

was unceremoniously abandoned in my friend's backyard. Once they realized Tilly was in the family way, my husband and I jumped on the opportunity to adopt one of her puppies. 

We had 11 to choose from.

  

Are you dying of cute yet?

We picked Herbert up on December 26. She was just under 8 weeks, and already turning into a GIANT.

 

She was awfully snuggly though.

We've had her at home for 2 months now, where she continues to grow like a weed. She likes it here, except for when we put in her jail.

So we let her sit in the living room with us, but she's not very ladylike.

As I said, ferocious beast. 

(Apologies for the low quality pics. Most were taken with an iphone. Once I figure out how to use the real camera I'll get some bigger shots. She'll probably weigh 60 pounds by then though, so I figured the cute was worth it.)